Societies in Balance

About deepening the relationship with yourself. The masculine, yang, outward-facing principle, and the feminine, yin, inward-facing principle are equal and in contact with each other through which life flows. Such as a battery where a positive and a negative pole are needed to allow energy to flow. Love & Sexuality united


final phase of patriarchy

Our state of consciousness 

We are living in the final phase of Patriarchy or Society out of Balance. Maybe you’re thinking, I didn’t even know we were in it 😀. That is also possible. They’re just glasses. Glasses that help to understand why we experience inequality, stress and war in ourselves and in the world. Imbalance. It is a separate way of thinking and feeling that has been passed on from generation to generation. That we inherited, that we helped create ourselves and that we considered normal for centuries. 

Sex scandals in TV or politics, and student associations that use misogynistic language as if it were the most normal thing, are expressions of a culture that is traumatized and disharmonized.

At the same time, the invitation is for myself and perhaps for you too to look a little further than good and bad. Because from duality I am going to place everything, people, situations, thoughts into one of the two categories. While everything is one, comes from the same source. Everything is normal. Everything is love. The pure nature of who we are is this love, life or god(dess), which is impersonal and of which everything in life is an expression. In this love all experiences appear, both beautiful and ugly experiences, both happiness-giving and non-happiness-giving experiences. This lasting love is not itself an experience. It is the love that you are.

‘Being love’ or ‘being yourself’ is everything and encompasses every experience. On the one hand, the experience of searching and longing for love, separateness, which is experienced as a state of imbalance. Think of feelings of cramping, suffering, despair, fear. This state of consciousness arises when we live mainly from our burdensome conditioning(s), our shadow, our painful thoughts with a high ego-content. The conditioning of our mind consists of everything we have picked up along the way in our lives, events, experiences. 


Annie Besant Art Ruysen Flores “The evolutionary force holds the key”

Consider your parents’ upbringing, interactions with your friends, experiences at school, experiences at sports clubs, but also the culture in which you grew up. Over the years you have started to adapt to your environment. Your conditioning is your truth, also called programming or paradigm. Patriarchy, or Society Out of Balance, is such a conditioning, way of thinking and doing that has had a lot of influence on ourselves over the centuries and still does.

So ‘being love’ is the experience of imbalance, of separateness. On the other hand, ‘being love’ is also the experience of oneness, which is a natural state of balance. Everything is one. Good is also bad and bad is also good. Everything in the world is fundamentally yin and yang. You let go of your conditioning and everything can be there now. You feel the love that you are, connected to the whole from your unique humanity. This includes feelings of harmony, joy, safety, openness, freedom, open-mindedness. Emotions such as anger, sadness and all our desires are also welcome from the love that we are.


Society in Balance and Society out of Balance

Society in Balance and Society out of Balance exist at every level, both at the personal level and at the level of groups and societies. So it’s about you as well as us as a culture.

In everyday life they are not so clearly separated and these two states of consciousness can overlap. From the ‘me’ perspective, one is better than the other. From the perspective of life, there is only perfection and the ‘Society out of Balance’ and ‘Society in Balance’ are both carried in the hands of life and love, no matter what happens. Everything is a reflection of our heart which is the total life. They are two stories that we live, that become our truth, in our bodies and in the world. A story of being trapped and a story of being free. But that prison is also another form of what is eternal, life and love. Love is.

Society out of Balance

In the Society out of Balance we search for love from a fundamental self-rejection and cosmic wound. Our lives are strongly influenced by our shadow, parts that we condemn within ourselves. The two essences of the soul, the feminine and the masculine energy, have separated from each other in our thinking (and therefore also in our body and the world). Freedom and love become something to strive for because it is outside of us. We start looking for love in others out of a sense of imperfection. They must give us what we do not give ourselves. Appreciation, recognition, right to exist, wholeness. But that has the opposite effect, it makes us increasingly insecure and dependent. Our attention there is the ideal distraction from not wanting to feel here, trying to get rid of the emptiness and pain. It seems like the situation is causing the suffering and so we resist it. Suffering can become a vicious circle in which we continue to wander for a long time. In feelings of fear, despair, powerlessness.

It is our most painful beliefs that tear our unbroken state of being into a suffering ‘I’ and a painful reality of which that ‘I’ feels like a victim. But it doesn’t come from outside. It is the identification with our invented self-image that causes the division. It says what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’ based on internalized norms, learned thoughts, the story we believe and the patterns and survival mechanisms we created around it. In this way, emotions and survival patterns based on fear unconsciously limit our lives.

Society in Balance 

In the Society in Balance we are one with love and with life. We live our natural state of being in which the two essences of the soul, the feminine and the masculine energy of which everything in life consists, are in balance, directed towards each other, allowing life to flow. Experiencing, feeling and expressing love does not mean that you have to agree with everything or always feel good. As ‘love’ we do not have to avoid anything. It offers space for all my individual feelings and desires without judging them. Because we give love to ourselves and therefore also to others, we also receive that love in return. Everything is allowed, our dark and our light pole, because both have value, the openness of yin and the urge of yang. Each expresses our relationship with the universe, with ourselves. We are no longer guided by how it should be or how it should be, only by how it is, now.

There is confidence that we will always be taken care of, if we also take responsibility ourselves. We live in harmony, embedded in a larger story in which we are looked after and there is enough for everyone. The noise disappears from our lives, it becomes simpler. The trauma is felt, sadness, fear, jealousy, frustration. We can now experience everything without suffering, the resistance has been released, we see the painful story as an interpretation. We come to see all emotions, people, situations as part of the whole, of our lives and of the entire universe. In this way we can remove labels such as good or bad that we attach to those things. In this way we will experience unity with all of life. And that creates a true feeling of freedom and love.

Art: Dynamics of a Head – Paul Klee

Our thoughts cause suffering

It is so important to realize that no matter what happens in the outside world, it is never the reason for unpleasant feelings that we experience. We don’t suffer because of circumstances, because of other people, or anything else, but always because of our own thoughts about it. That’s why you can never hold anyone else responsible for what you feel.

It is always the thoughts, beliefs, and norms that come to mind that clash with reality that cause you to experience pain. Because they clash with reality, they are always untrue thoughts. They are thoughts such as: ‘He shouldn’t have done/said that’. or: ‘That should or shouldn’t have happened’. If you observe yourself closely, you will see that these thoughts always have a high ego content and carry a belief in better knowing and/or victimhood.

Our mind is shaped by the totality of everything we have experienced, all the conditionings and all the likes and aversions we have developed. To put it in Eastern terms: the vasanas. Therefore, each mind is unique and produces its own stream of thoughts.

Art: Gustav Klimt 

The personality, character

If we recognize ourselves as life, love or consciousness, the ‘I’ or ego does not have to disappear because the ‘I’ is also a manifestation of life with its own function and dynamics. Seeing ourselves as an individual is useful and necessary for our survival and social interaction with others. It makes it possible to desire something, to have an idea, to learn something. As long as we see the ‘I’ and all its achievements as ‘tools’, as a means of looking and not as that which looks itself. When we reject or condemn the ‘I’ or ego, we reject ourselves. We suppress part of who we are and that is precisely where the problems arise. Your ‘I’ has protected you, it is the defensive wall you built to stop everything that was too difficult or too painful. It has served you wonderfully. Now you are no longer a child, but an adult. You don’t die if it hurts. It was an unfounded fear that you no longer need. You no longer need the ‘I’ for the golden cage of false security. After the sacred union we no longer suffer from our ego/shadow, the ego becomes the expression of our true self. It’s the way to express ourselves and live our potential.

Shame, guilt and disgrace

The big three of survival, who fix life. And the associated emotions are not expressed. Stuck in judgment. Once they have been looked at, nothing needs to be held. And life flows to a natural balance. Space. For everything that was never supposed to be.


Control of female sexuality

Adoration of the Virgin

Patriarchy is ultimately about the control of female sexuality. From the very beginning, the Christian church had major problems with women’s sexuality. “Embracing a woman,” wrote Odo of Cluny in the twelfth century, “is like embracing a bale of manure.” And yet Christ was born of a woman. The solution to this embarrassing problem was for the Blessed Virgin Mary to remain a virgin; it was not only before the birth of Christ, but also afterwards. 

The Christian fathers had to protect Mary’s purity in order to keep His purity intact. The bloodiness and pain of childbirth left her untouched, and He was hermetically encased to avoid any contact with her unclean interior. Virginity is interpreted as sexual purity and (in)nocence. It becomes a kind of ideal. We also see this within Islam.


Art: Chie Yoshii (Japanese, born 1974)

My own experience

If we shut something out, then it’s our own story that filters the light like sunglasses. Because we don’t give certain parts of ourselves space and still want to be seen, our unconscious often projects this shadow side onto others or something else. And then we feel like victims of it. Thus, what we call bad in life is often our own shadow that we see reflected in others. In this way, patriarchy mirrored to me the (unconscious) suppression of my own feelings and needs, my zest for life, my sexuality. You can imagine how much grief and suffering this has entailed. Yet this, too, is part of the perfection of life. 

1. Separateness
Essentially, there are only two models of civilization:
In the age of the heavenly father we are not one with God, with Life (Love, Freedom) so that we imagine ourselves separated from our essence, from our heart = self-rejection, cosmic wound. In this model, we neglect our relationship with the whole, leading us to believe that we are separate entities, bodies with independent existence.

2. Nature is not culture
When we believe that we are separate from life, we also see ourselves as separate from nature and as superior to nature. Nature is something we can use for our own benefit. We forget that we are part of nature. We see nature and culture as two separate things that are opposite and inevitably in conflict with each other.

3. Mind is master
We are ruled by thoughts that cause pain and chafe with reality. The dark only has power over you if you direct your thoughts, your attention and your energy towards it. The darkness only comes through thinking.

4 Self- rejection
Self-rejection is the basis of many complaints and problems. We learn survival mechanisms from an early age because certain parts of ourselves are rejected by our parents, teachers and culture. As a child, we unconsciously draw the conclusion that love simply because of who we are is not for us, that we ourselves are not good enough. That becomes our truth. We abandon ourselves, adapt, in order to still receive the love of our parents. We suppress our own needs and feelings because it does not feel safe.

5 No balance between the sexes
Because there is no inner balance between the two essences of the soul in the minds of women and men themselves, there is also no balance between the sexes, which is why there is so much inequality in the world. A story of perpetrator and victim emerges. 

6 Work hard
Because of this imbalance and the associated limited, separate consciousness, societies out of balance cannot flourish on their own and by themselves. The idea arises that you have to work hard, do your best.


Societies out of Balance


Societies in Balance


Our state of consciousness determines our beliefs, our view of humanity and the world, what we observe, our choices, our relationships and everything we organize. It’s all connected.

1. Wholeness
In the age of the earthly mother we are God, we are Life (Love, Freedom), we are no longer separated from it. We discover that separateness and the self are contructs. There really is no separte self. We are always one with our essence. We are guided in our ideas and behaviour and are guided by insight into our relationship with the whole. Everything is part of the singular, infinite and indivisible reality.

 2. Nature is culture
In the age of the earthly mother, we are both in harmony with the Life that we are in essence, and in harmony with our natural environment as part of life. Because all aspects of culture are in harmony with nature, culture and nature reinforce each other in a beautiful way.

3 Mind falls into the heart
More and more we are freed from burdensome conditioning and beliefs. What remains is authentic, servant leadership. We don’t need to add or cultivate it. It’s already what we are.

4 Deepening the relationship with yourself
The path of sacred sexuality is to develop a sacred or whole relationship with all of life. The contact between the two poles allows life to flow, then your unique beauty and thus your beautiful view of the world is more expressed

5 Dynamic Balance 
The intelligence of our heart ensures a dynamic balance between yin and yang. That is a state of lightness, of peace, without fear, where we feel completely involved in life.

Women’s Truth for Centuries

Not having the opportunity as a woman to express yourself, to be yourself. Having to fight for your rights. Wondering whether your children can grow up safely. The lack of the opportunity as a woman to escape your home and survive and ask yourself the question ‘who am I’, of positive female role models, of women who could show their daughters and granddaughters what it means to be a woman in a world where that is appreciated. It has been the truth for many women, our foremothers, for a long time and it still is for many women today.

I can only look at these women and their sometimes daily struggle with a lot of love and respect. It is moving to live in this time when we are breaking down all the conditioning that has put us as women in the role of victim for centuries. Prick. Prick. And another one. Prick. Out of the ‘prison’ in which we have locked ourselves individually and together as women. And the great thing is, men too.

When women come together,
and tell their stories,
the good and the bad,
the power created is a tsunami of strength and intuition.

art: Tamara Phillips

Our Future? - Becoming one with the Beloved

We can think and feel like we’re not at home. We are, always have been. We are pure innocence as Love/God(dess) created us. A blank slate, an immaculate conception. As our lives progress, we begin to cover ourselves with words, opinions, and views, and that innocence seems to have disappeared. We develop a story, a specific view of the world in which we like it and don’t like it.

Being love is always whole, because nothing can come from love, from its source, that is alien to that love. That makes sense, right? And because ideas cannot leave the source of love, neither can you. And for your neighbor, your ex, that ‘wrong’ politician. Our “I”, ego, thinks that love is this and not that. Love then becomes conditional, partial, or partial. Those traits but not those traits. 

“The ego is the affirmation of separation from the other, while love is the affirmation of being one with the other. Therefore, the ego can only be solved through true love.

All experiences (small or big) and all aspirations (good or bad) create a load of impressions and feed the sense of the “I”. The only experience that causes the slimming of the ego is the experience of love, and the only striving that provides the enlightenment of separation is the desire to become one with the Beloved.”

~ Meher Baba ~


Love & Sexuality united

Taking a stand or connecting? To follow the happiness of your own feelings and desires or the happiness of peace? They can go very well together. That is taking a position based on peace and connection. Being your unconditional love is visible in that position. That is a position that is no longer against something but for life. That is seeing the truth of both, the truth in everything.

And from that common truth you follow your own truth. That is connecting and transcending contradictions. That is the eroticism of coming fully alive. It is the full life within yourself. That is love & sexuality united 🌈🌹❤️



1500 hundred year old olive tree in Italy

L`Angelo , La Morte e il Diavolo – art by Roberto Ferri (below and in header).

You are nature 

feeling at home

There is a reason why walking amongst nature is most people’s best advice when depression strikes.
Because walking in nature is feeling at home.
You are not a lover of nature, or a fan of nature, you ARE nature. You are as much nature as the trees in your garden and the bees on your picnic.

The quickest route back to feeling welcome on earth, to inner peace, is bare feet on grass, arms around trees, head in the clouds and heart in a forest. Put your weary bones in water, whenever you can, smell each flower you see and crumble dirt between your tired-of-typing fingers.

You are nature, be in this home once in a while.
It will bring you much you didn’t even know you were missing.

based on a poem of Donna Ashworth
This poem is from her newest book ‘Wild Hope’


Drop Us a Line

Don’t be shy. Let us know if you have any questions!