Body & Sexuality
This is about your humanity, this love is your experience. A key part of healing love on earth besides the understanding of our mutual and infinite being, is fully accepting our body, it’s sexual nature and feelings and freely expressing it in mutual respect.
Body blessings and trauma
Body
” I know, you never intended to be in this world. But you’re in it all the same. So why not get started immediately. I mean, belonging to it.
There is so much to admire, to weep over. And to write music or poems about. Bless the feet that take you to and fro. Bless the eyes and the listening ears. Bless the tongue, the marvel of taste. Bless touching. You could live a hundred years, it’s happened. Or not.”
Mary Oliver, short from the book: Blue Horses.
Trauma and Connecting with you body
We all have a body. How’s yours?
The conditional love of our body and sexuality always involves a person, place or thing. Unconditional love needs to be the base of our conditional love because otherwise ‘being love’ ends up in your shadow and you only want to chase your self-image. This is the primal wound and the cause of any trauma.
Are there situations that trigger you, what are they and which defense mechanisms do you use unconsciously?
The trigger brings that which was once repressed back into your consciousness. Triggers can throw you off balance. Once upon a time it was necessary to protect yourself as a child, now it mainly gets in the way. If you learn to see what the root of the reaction is, this offers the opportunity to respond more maturely and freely in the here-and-now. It can be a beautiful exercise to have more compassion for yourself and therefore also for others. Because yes, being deeply touched connects us to our shared humanity.
Your emotions are always triggered until you are willing to ‘feel them’. That you’re going to allow your emotions. They are allowed to be there. And situations will no longer repeat themselves, because the emotions have been ‘felt’.
When you let go of trauma/negative experience, the autonomic nervous system after all these years of cramping gets a rest and the body can relax. A lot of trauma has to do with not being seen and heard.
Everyone has triggers and if we learn to recognize them as signposts, they become true Buddhas on our path. So the next time you’re upset by a trigger and you prefer to go on the offensive, or criticize yourself: hit the pause button, take a deep breath and turn on your investigator. It can bring you closer to your body, to yourself, and in the relationship with others.
Jennifer Anne Saville RA was born in Cambridge, England, on May 7, 1970, Prism 2020
” How can it be abstract and real at the same time. Pure genius. So much depth of feeling. 
Carol Foulder
“Beautifully sensitive and powerful at the same time.”
Karen Armstrong
“What great emotion depicted! Love the colors and loose way of drawing. It grabs you immediately.”
Jenny Mulder
on Facebook
I like to take a bath or a long hot shower and then get rubbed with bad oil and bad foam. Maybe red roses, candlelight and an arm around my shoulder. You know me. How attention and tickling make me happy.
Below
Georgia O’ Keeffe
Music, Pink and Blue No. 2
1918
Rachel Toll, Asymmetric Mermaid 2022
Watercolour
Poem
This is for anyone facing unexpected challenges and celebrating our different body shapes….
Asymmetric Mermaid…
I am an asymmetric mermaid; I show signs of wear and tear.
Not all my scars are visible, we all have things that make us scared
Life throws all kinds of challenges, and we try to do our best.
I know that what I’ve faced in life, it helps me understand the rest.
I can celebrate my body now, look down on it with hope.
It’s made a new life possible, with one boob, I can cope.
Let’s celebrate our differences, cling on when things are tough
I’ve swum through stormy waters, and I know that I’m enough.
We’ll cheer as someone braves the world who feels insecure or odd.
Each small triumph, each new fear faced, as upon the earth we plod.”
Poem and Watercolour by Rachel Tol
“My name is Rachel Toll and I am a watercolour artist based in Devon, England. I love painting and gain much inspiration from the landscapes, wildlife and coasts of Devon and Cornwall. Wildlife painting has become a major part of who I am.”
“I painted a Mastecomy Mermaid a while ago. She helped raise money for a breast cancer charity. She is included in my book, but I thought I would create another Mermaid, people don’t always know what a woman with a Mastecomy looks like and I was surprised and delighted when I heard my mermaid had helped some women starting treatment for breast cancer.
I think the more we talk about our differences the less different we feel. This is just my take on one aspect of my cancer journey…
Getting Older
I love getting older. My understanding deepens. I can see what connects. I can weave stories of experience and apply them.
The inner flower
Sexuality
You don’t have to transcend the earthiness of your body and all your experiences. Denying your humanity as well as your sexuality is not healthy. Our sexuality is often a taboo because in patriachal cultures our sexuality is oppressed and surrounded by guilt and shame. The two most famous women in patriarchal cultures, Mary & Mary, are a whore and a virgin. This sexual trauma that we have inherited and co-created ourselves, we considered normal for centuries. It is stored at the cellular level in your body. Where it has been passed on unconsciously from generation to generation. Full of fear, judgement and expectation. And with misunderstood desires, unfulfilled needs and feelings of frustration and loss.
Sex scandals in the TV world or politics, and student associations that use misogynistic language as if it were the most normal thing are expressions of a culture that has been traumatized and disharmonized.
When the connection with your sexuality is healed, innocent and pure again, you will start to feel your body again. All stored feelings. As well as your desires, passion and creativity. In other words, the love of your being or life itself.
The love of your being is not conditional or based on your ego. It’s about who you really are and what resonates. Without rejecting anything in yourself. By opening your heart you can start following your heart. Live your inner truth, follow the flow in your life and live from love.
Ancient words that my mother never said
Ancient words that her mother never dared to speak
I moan in languages foreign to me
Repressed sounds
That formed
Generations back and back
I moan so loud
That the lineage of women
Who died before me
Shake in the ethers
Breaking the silence
All the way back
To the moment
My great great great grandmother
Swallowed her first truth
The moment it drowned in her belly
The moment a piece of her died
in silence
I moan so loudly
That she c*ms in her grave
For the very first time
I spread my lips
And my throat is wet
Hollow
And pulsating
My truth cannot be
Dimmed down
It can’t be shaved away
It can’t be bleached or cut or tucked away
My truth is wild tangled hair
My truth is wet and throbbing
My truth is loud
My truth is rough
My truth is soft
My truth is as hard to hide.
As these supple and sagging breasts
These rolls of flesh
That I tried so hard
To mold into the tiny
Voiceless
Good Christian girl
That mama always wanted me to be
I choose now
To be seen
I don’t want any part
To stay hidden
I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea
But I’m going to be my own godddamn cup of tea
And get drunk off of my own juices
Art in gallery right by Tina Maria Elena
Chickpead salad.
“Sexuality is so much more than sex. I notice it especially in the joie de vivre that is back in my life. Enjoying the things I like such as art, dance, nature, good food, a desire to travel, all beautiful things on earth and that doesn’t have to be expensive at all.”
🌈✨❤️ Anna Beerepoot
Sexuality is our life energy
Sexual energy is not limited to sexual desire or physical attraction; it is a life force that runs through our entire being. It is the energy that fuels our physical, emotional, and mental processes and influences our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Unification is always about uniting (a form of) the female and the male pole, as body.
Sexual energy is a universal life energy that allows us, in full freedom and trust, to energetically express our joy in life and experience becoming one in the sacred union. Yet isn’t it a miracle that nearly all human life has incarnated through a sexual encounter? Eros conceals a deep secret of life. It is the life force of the earth present in all of nature, and sexuality is a way to express our eros. As the poet Joseph von Eichendorff writes, “It was as though the heavens had silently kissed the earth, such that in the blossoms’ lustre, she was caught in dreams of them.”
Ancient feminine mystery knowledge placed women at the center of the tribe, where they could connect to nature and the goddess and practice fertility and sexuality rituals. The separation of eros and religion disconnected us from our primordial creative force, defiled sexuality, making it seem dirty and shameful, and banished the goddess to an unreachable, off-earth plane.
Become one - as body
Dear men (and women), do you know that when you enter a woman, you are actually inside another hunman being, you are inside of her? Have you ever realised how sacred this is?….That truly opening up a woman, is about going deep, but not going deep within her, going deep within yourself, knowing yourself, and the deeper you are able to enter yourself, the deeper you can enter a woman as well…””. Zoe Johansen
Art: Yannick Bouchard
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